MY FRUSTRATION CONTINUES....SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO WALK AWAY COMPLETELY....ACT LIKE HE NEVER EXISTED. MY HEART WONT LET ME DO THAT. THERE IS SOMETHING IN ME SO SURE ABOUT HIM, THAT I FEEL LIKE WALKING AWAY AND WRITING HIM OFF FOR GOOD WOULD BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES I'VE MADE.
BUT LIKE THE SONG SAYS "HOW DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE, THAT HURT YOU OH SO BAD?" PEOPLE TELL ME YOU CANT HELP WHO YOU LOVE OR FALL IN LOVE WITH, BUT SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD. I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST 2 PEOPLE.... A FRIEND AND SOMEONE I LOVE.
HE THINKS WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST GO BACK TO LAUGHING AND JOKING THE WAY WE USED TO. SOMETHING ISNT THE SAME. OUR FRIENDSHIP HAS BEEN ALTERED. MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO STICK WITH WHAT WE STARTED OUT AS. THE HARD PART IS THAT WE DIDNT. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME THAT OUR "FRIENDSHIP" WILL NEVER BE THE WAY IT WAS.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND AND HE BROKE MY HEART. WALKED AWAY LIKE IT WAS ALL GOOD. IM EXPECTED TO ACCEPT AND HAVE NO FEELINGS ABOUT EVERYTHING. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU CANT MAKE SOMEONE DO OR BE SOMETHING THEY DONT WANT TO DO OR BE. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. I GUESS THE HURT I FEEL IS JUST TOO STRONG....
I TRY TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT HIM AND THINGS PERTAINING TO HIM, BUT SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS AND MY HEART IS RIGHT BACK ON MY SLEEVE. I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM....DONT SHOW EMOTIONS, FEELINGS, AND JUST GO ALONG LIKE BUSINESS AS USUAL. BUT IM NOT A CYBORG. I HAVE FEELINGS. I SHOW EMOTION. I GUESS THATS THE PROBLEM.....I HAVE FEELINGS....FOR HIM......AND IT SUCKS......I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN THEM OFF FOR MY OWN PEACE OF MIND......I WISH I COULD JUST STOP AND START AGAIN IN ANOTHER TIME OR ANOTHER PLACE WHEN NONE OF THIS EVER EXISTED.
I READ SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY, ON MYSPACE OF ALL PLACES, THAT SAID "LOSING YOU IS NOT THE HARD PART. THE HARD PART IS KNOWING I ONCE HAD YOU" I AGREE WITH THE SECOND HALF....FOR ME LOSING HIM IS THE PROBLEM. ESPECIALLY THE REASONS WHY........
A Fat Girl Dancing
12 years ago
1 comment:
well u'll never be able to go back like a relationship never existed..
hell u may not even be able to be friends in the end.
but be mad, u have every right to be.
like i said, get out your frustrations, any way u see fit for you. no one knows what's best for you but you.
if you believe in ya'll, then maybe try to hold on a lil while longer, but if you see you're the only one willing to fight for something, maybe you are the only one that believes in it, and it's not what the other person wants. and it's no since in holdin on to something when you're the only one willing to fight for it.
but again, you are the only one that knows what's best for you.
so do you, and take your time,
you didn't fall in love over night, and you wont fall outta love over night...
just take the steps to heal...
day by day, and know i'm here all the way..
love ya, sis
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