SHOCKED.....

SO MANY THOUGHTS GOIN THRU MY HEAD, MY MIND IS RACIN
THE LAST TIME WE TALKED, THE THINGS YOU SAID, THERE'S NO ERASIN
THE PAIN IN MY HEART, THE WAY YOU MADE ME FEEL. I DONT KNOW
WHAT TO DO MAYBE I SHOULD WALK AWAY, I WANNA STAY.
HOW CAN I LOVE YOU, WHEN YOU LET ME DOWN? YOU WALKED AWAY
BUT I WANT YOU AROUND.

SO MANY THOUGHTS GOIN THRU MY HEAD, IT'S YOU I MISS
WE WERE SO COOL, HOW DID IT GET TO THIS?
I'M TIRED OF CRYIN MYSELF TO SLEEP, OVER A LOVE I COULDNT KEEP
WE CANT GO BACK TO JUST BEIN COOL, THIS THING GOT WAY TOO DEEP
IT HURTS SO MUCH TO WATCH YOU WALK AWAY, ALL I WANTED WAS
FOR YOU TO STAY.

I PULLED MY WALLS DOWN JUST FOR YOU, WHY COULDNT YOU MAKE ME
THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU TOO? I BELIEVED IN YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE
YOU MY HEART, YOU DIDNT THINK ENOUGH OF ME TO DO YOUR PART.
NOW YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THE BACK SEAT SO YOU CAN PLAY,
MY LOVE'S TOO REAL BABY, IT CANT WORK THAT WAY.

SO MANY THOUGHTS GOIN THRU MY HEAD, MY MIND IS RACIN
FEELIN SO ASHAMED OF SOME THINGS I BEEN CONTEMPLATIN
THAT ONE THING I'LL ALWAYS HIDE, NEVER TELL, JUST LET
THAT THOUGHT RIDE.

YOU SAY YOU'RE GETTIN RID OF NEGATIVE THINGS, THE WAY YOU
TALK, I FEEL LIKE THAT INCLUDES ME.
IT WOULD MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER IF I WALKED AWAY FROM YOU
THAT'S SOMETHING I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO....

SO MANY THOUGHTS RUNNIN THRU MY HEAD, SO AFFECTED BY THINGS
YOU SAID. CANT STOP THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR YOU. SO HURT BY
SOME THINGS YOU DO.
I'LL TRY TO STEAR CLEAR, ERASE MYSELF FROM YOUR LIFE
TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU, YOU WONT SEE MY CRY.

NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD EVER NOT CARE
WHETHER OR NOT I WAS THERE.
COULDNT MAKE ME BELIEVE A TIME WOULD EVER BE FOUND
WHEN MY LOVE, MY BEST FRIEND WOULD BE GONE WHEN I TURN AROUND.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOFACE.....

OK, SO IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. ON ONE HAND IM SAD THAT IT'S NOT BEING SPENT THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN....I ALWAYS PICTURED US TOGETHER. BUT, ON THE OTHER HAND....I ENJOYED THE NIGHT WITH YOU. IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD TO BE THE FIRST TO WISH YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN PERSON. YOU KNOW IM A KID LIKE THAT...LOL IT WAS GOOD TO LAUGH AND TALK AND UM PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN. THE WAY WE USED TO. BEFORE THINGS GOT ALL MESSED UP.

I CAN SEE ME FEELIN LIKE THIS IF......

P.S. (I'M STILL NOT OVER YOU) RIHANNA

Whassup? I know we haven't spoken for a while I was thinking bout you and it kinda made me smile So many things to say and I'll put them in a letter Thought it might be easier, the words might come out better How's your mother? How's your little brother? Does he still look just like you? So many things I wanna know the answers to

Wish I could press rewind and rewrite every line to the story of me and you Don't you know I've tried, I've tried to get you off my mind but it don't get no better as each day go by and I'm lost and confuse I've got nothing to lose hope to hear from you soon... P.S I'm still not over you

Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on there's a lot of feelings that remains since you?ve been gone I guess you thought that I would've it all behind me but it seems there's always something right there to remind me like a silly joke or something on the TV, boy it ain't easy when I hear our song I get that same old feeling

Wish I could press rewind, turn back the hands of time and I shouldn't be telling you Don't you know I've tried, I've tried to get you off my mind but it don't get no better as each day go by and I'm lost and confuse I've got nothing to lose hope to hear from you soon... P.S I'm still not over you (you, still not over you)

Did you know I've kept all of your pictures Don't have the strength to part with them yet Oooh nooo.. tried to erase The way your kisses taste But some things a girl can never forget Don't you know I've tried, I've tried to get you off my mind but it don't get no better as each day go by and I'm lost and confuse I've got nothing to lose hope to hear from you soon... P.S I'm still not over you Still not over you, see I've tried to forget you Don't you know I've tried, I've tried to get you off my mind but it don't get no better as each day go by and I'm lost and confuse I've got nothing to lose hope to hear from you soon... P.S I'm still not over you (fade)

MUSIC DRIVES MY FEELINGS.....

ALTHOUGH YOU'VE SEEN ME CRY MORE THAN I CARE TO ADMIT.......



RIHANNA..........CRY



This time was different Felt like I was just a victim And it cut me like a knife When you walked out of my life Now I'm in this condition And I've got all the symptoms Of a girl with a broken heart But no matter what you'll never see my cry



Did it happen when we first kissed Cause it's hurting me to let it go Maybe cause we spent so much time And I know that it's no more I should have never let you hold me baby Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart I didn't give it to you on purpose Gotta figure out how you stole my heart My mind is gone I'm spinning 'round And deep inside My tears all drown I'm losing grip What's happening? I stray from love This is how I feel...



This time was different Felt like I was just a victim And it cut me like a knife When you walked out of my life Now I'm in this condition And I've got all the symptoms Of a girl with a broken heart But no matter what you'll never see my cry

How did I get here with you I'll never know Never meant to let it get so personal And after all I tried to do To stay away from loving you I'm broken hearted I can't let you know I won't let it show You won't see me cry

This time was different Felt like I was just a victim And it cut me like a knife When you walked out of my life Now I'm in this condition And I've got all the symptoms Of a girl with a broken heart But no matter what you'll never see my cry.....On my life

I HATE THIS

MY FRUSTRATION CONTINUES....SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO WALK AWAY COMPLETELY....ACT LIKE HE NEVER EXISTED. MY HEART WONT LET ME DO THAT. THERE IS SOMETHING IN ME SO SURE ABOUT HIM, THAT I FEEL LIKE WALKING AWAY AND WRITING HIM OFF FOR GOOD WOULD BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES I'VE MADE.

BUT LIKE THE SONG SAYS "HOW DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE, THAT HURT YOU OH SO BAD?" PEOPLE TELL ME YOU CANT HELP WHO YOU LOVE OR FALL IN LOVE WITH, BUT SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD. I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST 2 PEOPLE.... A FRIEND AND SOMEONE I LOVE.

HE THINKS WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST GO BACK TO LAUGHING AND JOKING THE WAY WE USED TO. SOMETHING ISNT THE SAME. OUR FRIENDSHIP HAS BEEN ALTERED. MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO STICK WITH WHAT WE STARTED OUT AS. THE HARD PART IS THAT WE DIDNT. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME THAT OUR "FRIENDSHIP" WILL NEVER BE THE WAY IT WAS.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND AND HE BROKE MY HEART. WALKED AWAY LIKE IT WAS ALL GOOD. IM EXPECTED TO ACCEPT AND HAVE NO FEELINGS ABOUT EVERYTHING. OF COURSE I KNOW YOU CANT MAKE SOMEONE DO OR BE SOMETHING THEY DONT WANT TO DO OR BE. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. I GUESS THE HURT I FEEL IS JUST TOO STRONG....

I TRY TO BE NONCHALANT ABOUT HIM AND THINGS PERTAINING TO HIM, BUT SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS AND MY HEART IS RIGHT BACK ON MY SLEEVE. I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM....DONT SHOW EMOTIONS, FEELINGS, AND JUST GO ALONG LIKE BUSINESS AS USUAL. BUT IM NOT A CYBORG. I HAVE FEELINGS. I SHOW EMOTION. I GUESS THATS THE PROBLEM.....I HAVE FEELINGS....FOR HIM......AND IT SUCKS......I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN THEM OFF FOR MY OWN PEACE OF MIND......I WISH I COULD JUST STOP AND START AGAIN IN ANOTHER TIME OR ANOTHER PLACE WHEN NONE OF THIS EVER EXISTED.

I READ SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY, ON MYSPACE OF ALL PLACES, THAT SAID "LOSING YOU IS NOT THE HARD PART. THE HARD PART IS KNOWING I ONCE HAD YOU" I AGREE WITH THE SECOND HALF....FOR ME LOSING HIM IS THE PROBLEM. ESPECIALLY THE REASONS WHY........